memoriesspentinthecoldestwinter

Ok so my life seems like a horrible ongoing episode of a poorly written teen drama, a la Dawson’s Creek.

In most reason news I caught one of my “best” friends IN BED,HALF CLOTHED and cuddled with my guy.He was shirtless and God knows what else underneath the comforter.

W.T.F.?

Like in the midst of all my problems that have plauged me for these last five months(mostly money and family problems that literally was making my HAIR fall out) I have dealt with this relationship with someone we will call 44. Now I previously had talked to 44 my freshman year of college but after Christmas break we stopped talking. Fast forward to this past summer and we started talking heavily and by the time August rolled it was me and him. It started off care free and nice, neither of us wanting a relationship but when you start spending that much time feelings can grow and that they did. It had actually gotten to I love yous and everything. He began to always be around, and I began to inconvenience MYSELF to spend more time with him. Bad idea.

He began to feel like a drug of some sorts…I always needed him. Everyday.Everynight…couldn’t sleep without him. My prescribed Ambien was now in a human form that snored lightly and smelled faintly of expensive cologne mixed with his own unique scent. It was damn near intoxicating.

And I let it consume me.

With all of that said you would think that I would be devestated after seeing them together. No.

I’m actually not.

Granted, I did shed a few tears and a few hyperventilated breaths but it passed. Very quickly. And I went to church for the first time in a while. I think God wanted me to see with my own eyes how the devil has been making a fool of me. And I thank him for it. He has given me perfect peace about this whole situation. I am an EXTREMELY emotional person and my friends are all completely shocked at how well I am taking being betrayed not only by not one but TWO people you love.

Don’t get me wrong, I am hurt. But if this makes sense at all its a happy hurt. ITS OVER.

Now all I want to do is get out of the hustle and bustle of DC and get back in Olathe,Kansas to go sledding with my brother and my dog and drink hot apple cider afterwards. 🙂 It’s the simple things that I miss…

More later…I’m tired.

xoxo

RLCG