I have a problem.
No it’s not just the soothing sound of the jack hammer right outside of my window.
It is currently 1 minute after 8 am and I haven’t slept a wink. I’ve been waaaaaaaaaay to busy eating salt and pepper pop chips(they’re CRACK I’m telling you) and drinking lightly-frozen, 15 calorie lemonade straight out of the carton;all while watching complete seasons of Sex and the City. This is NOT normal. It is Thursday for crying out loud! Since I’ve taken the semester off due to not having enough funds for school(THANK you Dad) I have lived the most unstructured life. First I went though a stage when I thought there was still hope which including contacting 5011 million ppl trying to find money. Second I went though a “woe is me” stage which included staying in bed for days on end and crying my eyes out or calling my ex boyfriend just to hear a voice of comfort(BAD idea….this idiot plan caused more tears to shed). Third I went through the “pretend everything is ok” stage where I acted like everything was just peachy. Sometimes I would even go to campus and sit in on a class just to feel “normal”.
Right now….I don’t know where I am.
To keep it one hunda I’m scared as shit. Today I got a letter on my door stating I had to be out of my campus housing by Friday. Granted, I had been waiting for them to give me the boot sooner or later so it wasn’t a complete shock or anything but just seeing it in real live kinda shook me. I have a dear friend who is letting me crash at her house(she is a SAINT people) until I get it together. Im so grateful I have a place to go but still…they’re is just SO much uncertainty in the air. Its almost hard to breathe. Or maybe the shortness of breath is due to to the fact that I can’t breathe out of my nose. I have been plagued with a cold….RIGHT before I have to sing all weekend in Richmond. This would be my first out of town trip with this choir and I am really bummed…I’m seriously contemplating not going cause I feel so shitty. 😦 Also in more random news I have a date on Friday.
YES a date.
Shocking I know! It still sounds weird to say out loud. You see in college, well at least here at Howard, there is no such things as “dates”. It’s either hanging out which can include going to your room or his, and maybe if he’s super interested Starbucks. Otherwise it’s him trying to fuck. Yes,fuck. Sorry but if anyone is going to keep it real it’s gunna be me. It may be some scheme that may include what LOOKS like a date in which he tried to sneakily go about it or sometimes its very forward.And I mean VERY forward. I actually got a text at 4:30 am saying something around the lines of “I’m really drunk(yeah….right you PERFECT super “drunk” texter) so forgive me but I wanna fuck you”. This came from a guy I was actually at one point in time super interested in….so I did something really dumb….
Ahh, don’t judge me. I’m sorry I’m a low key sucker for sexy southern men. Nothing happened from it of course and I came to my senses the next day(in which I texted him and told him I was offended) but still the fact that I toyed with it in my mind really fucked with me. And it’s so odd because if he would have came at me different and respectfully he would have TOTALLY had a chance. Idiot.
So back to my date….I’m not going to spill all of the tea per usual cause I’m not too sure about him but he meets the bare minimum criteria
- No kids
- No immediate red flags
- Gainfully employed
- A cell phone(I’m sorry but I am DYING laughing as I type this…this is SOOO bad that I have to make this a requirement but I have had many a brother step to me with NO phone…calling me from they mama and cousins phone…lmao bullshit!)
PLUS he had two bonuses….a car and his own place. YES those are bonuses in Washington DC in this day and age. Anyway we’re going to dinner and a movie Friday night so I well be letting you know how it all goes.
Well I have blabbered enough for one post(although I do admit it was WELL overdue) so….