Antwan Andre Patton and Andre Benjamin we’re right….nothing is fo sho. nothing is for certain.
Be forewarned…im two glasses of wine in.
Lately my life has been this…..(insert negative word here). Like I honestly can’t think of a word to describe whats going on. Im just going to start saying stuff in random order. First I literally went an entire day without any type of exchange with my Mother yesterday. Like we would be in the same room and NOTHING. That shit hurts. Like she just didn’t even look at me. Times like this I just feel like this huge waste of space around her.Another thing. Work sucks. Im very grateful I have a job but damn…I work with trashy ass people(not all just some, you ho who you are lol) and trashy ass racist ass customers.And lets not forget the disgusting old married white men that hit on me all day long……ANNOYING.I am mad cool with one girl though…her name is Michela(pronounced Micheal-A). Looks wise we’re totally opposite. I’m a 5’2 brown girl with wild natural hair and chinky eyes. She’s 5 ft nothing ivory skinned bad ass with a crazy platinum blond streak in her black hair with gauged ears and tats galore. We look great together lol But yeah we both love to occasionally chief, eat vegetarian food, and laugh. Yay my first Olathe friend since the i’ve been back!
So I’m sitting here on my bed in rumpled up covers next to a open suitcase filled with unfolded clothes and natural hair products. I’m packing again.
Well actually I never really unpacked.
My Mom is moving to North Carolina on Saturday and that kinda leaves me alone….again. She’ renting out house out thankfully to my aunt and uncle and they agreed that I can rent out a room in the basement(uggggh) but they don’t move in til sometime in June so its the return of (duh duh duhhhhhhh) CRASHIN ON COUCHES. Didn’t I leave DC for that? Smh oh well.
It’s an hour til I have to be @ work so im going to pop my One-A-Day Energy and Biotin(works WONDERS for thickening and growing hair) vitamins and call a day. I’m going to update more often I swear this time!
The 3 and the shift keys are missing from my keyboard. smh.
It’s day 5.
Day 5 of me living back in Olathe,Kansas. Yes one of my biggest nightmares has come to pass. It’s so weird. Like the first 3 nights I cried myself to sleep wanting to be anywhere but here but day by day it’s getting bearable. It just hurts to see your dreams and hopes taken from you….especially when you work your tail off to keep them going. But Im thinking of this as a temporary detour…I’ll be back in DC.(I’m coming for the first week in May so clear your schedule!)
Anyway my day to day has been pretty mundane….Easter was soooo :/. I’ve been in the same church since I was 3 weeks old and it’s just not giving me what I need anymore. Then after that Easter dinner was interesting to say the least….my old boo was in attendance and it was extremely awkward. EXTREMELY. But on a positive note it showed me how much I have grown as a person which makes me happy.
I’m talking to this DUB from Kansas City and he seems mad cool….not the typical kind of dude I would kick it with but I’m trying to be like Sanaa Lathan in Something New and give him a try. He is really sweet and attentive but not smothering just like I like. I’m glad I have a little friend I can cake with here lol.
Well being that my life has boiled down to the most boring life of anyone I know I dont have much to say I’ll be back sooner than later(yet another Drake So Far Gone mixtape referance lol I loooove it)
I have a problem.
No it’s not just the soothing sound of the jack hammer right outside of my window.
It is currently 1 minute after 8 am and I haven’t slept a wink. I’ve been waaaaaaaaaay to busy eating salt and pepper pop chips(they’re CRACK I’m telling you) and drinking lightly-frozen, 15 calorie lemonade straight out of the carton;all while watching complete seasons of Sex and the City. This is NOT normal. It is Thursday for crying out loud! Since I’ve taken the semester off due to not having enough funds for school(THANK you Dad) I have lived the most unstructured life. First I went though a stage when I thought there was still hope which including contacting 5011 million ppl trying to find money. Second I went though a “woe is me” stage which included staying in bed for days on end and crying my eyes out or calling my ex boyfriend just to hear a voice of comfort(BAD idea….this idiot plan caused more tears to shed). Third I went through the “pretend everything is ok” stage where I acted like everything was just peachy. Sometimes I would even go to campus and sit in on a class just to feel “normal”.
Right now….I don’t know where I am.
To keep it one hunda I’m scared as shit. Today I got a letter on my door stating I had to be out of my campus housing by Friday. Granted, I had been waiting for them to give me the boot sooner or later so it wasn’t a complete shock or anything but just seeing it in real live kinda shook me. I have a dear friend who is letting me crash at her house(she is a SAINT people) until I get it together. Im so grateful I have a place to go but still…they’re is just SO much uncertainty in the air. Its almost hard to breathe. Or maybe the shortness of breath is due to to the fact that I can’t breathe out of my nose. I have been plagued with a cold….RIGHT before I have to sing all weekend in Richmond. This would be my first out of town trip with this choir and I am really bummed…I’m seriously contemplating not going cause I feel so shitty. 😦 Also in more random news I have a date on Friday.
YES a date.
Shocking I know! It still sounds weird to say out loud. You see in college, well at least here at Howard, there is no such things as “dates”. It’s either hanging out which can include going to your room or his, and maybe if he’s super interested Starbucks. Otherwise it’s him trying to fuck. Yes,fuck. Sorry but if anyone is going to keep it real it’s gunna be me. It may be some scheme that may include what LOOKS like a date in which he tried to sneakily go about it or sometimes its very forward.And I mean VERY forward. I actually got a text at 4:30 am saying something around the lines of “I’m really drunk(yeah….right you PERFECT super “drunk” texter) so forgive me but I wanna fuck you”. This came from a guy I was actually at one point in time super interested in….so I did something really dumb….
Ahh, don’t judge me. I’m sorry I’m a low key sucker for sexy southern men. Nothing happened from it of course and I came to my senses the next day(in which I texted him and told him I was offended) but still the fact that I toyed with it in my mind really fucked with me. And it’s so odd because if he would have came at me different and respectfully he would have TOTALLY had a chance. Idiot.
So back to my date….I’m not going to spill all of the tea per usual cause I’m not too sure about him but he meets the bare minimum criteria
- No kids
- No immediate red flags
- Gainfully employed
- A cell phone(I’m sorry but I am DYING laughing as I type this…this is SOOO bad that I have to make this a requirement but I have had many a brother step to me with NO phone…calling me from they mama and cousins phone…lmao bullshit!)
PLUS he had two bonuses….a car and his own place. YES those are bonuses in Washington DC in this day and age. Anyway we’re going to dinner and a movie Friday night so I well be letting you know how it all goes.
Well I have blabbered enough for one post(although I do admit it was WELL overdue) so….
Posted in Howard University, Love, Random, Uncategorized, Washington D.C.
Tagged confused, crazy, date, dinner, feelings, howard, insomnia, life, Love, movie, Random
Missed me? I’ve had a lot on my plate. Shoot, I’m sure you have too. So many thoughts are swirling though my head that I can’t really get them out right. I really freakin HATE this ok.
In other news I am soo excited that the heat is working in my dorm…*sings*its so cooooold in D.C. 🙂
I have been rehearsing a lot with HGC(Howard Gospel Choir) and all though it’s been many hours its been kinda fun lol. I really like this group of people. And GUESS WHAT…I am going to be singing at an inaugural ball where OPRAH WINFREY and SPIKE LEE are just a few of the esteemed guests. ohhhhhh maaaaa gawd! Like foreal??? I’m really excited. Like beyond excited.
In other news thanks to the Chapter 6 in the book entitled Skinny Bitch, I am now a full fledged vegetarian(except when I get spicy crunchy shrimp sushi at Nooshi on 19th st NW…its a delicious addiction). While reading it I literally had to put the book down because I was sick to my stomach. I actually skipped parts cause it was too explicitly disgusting. Needless today I ate really healthy and completely vegetarian today and I feel great…like I actually physically feel better.
I’m trying to get my life in order ya’ll….it’s kind of a mess but it could be a lot worse. I am very thankful for the many blessings I have in my everyday life…from waking up every morning to being able to move and breathe on my own. If nothing, I could just thank God for that but he continues to add blessing to my life that I truly don’t deserve. I HAD to get that praise out! 🙂
More when I feel like typing more…
a post full of randomness..
-gay boys love me and I’m not quite sure why
-i underestimated how relaxing bubblebaths were
-I’m very serious about this RAW food thing
-I love all things organic
-My brother and sister are my HEART…they are two of my favorite people in the entire world.
-I love finding news blogs…especially funny ones.
-I’m sipping a Diet Coke and it is SO DISGUSTING
-“Why Men Love Bitches” has changed my life.
-My Dad’s girlfriend thinks she is super cool with me…key word thinks.
-My Dad thinks he’s cool…again….key word thinks. (sidenote DAD…it’s NOT OKAY to say “Don’t be givin’ it up to your little college boyfriend Annisha, sheesh if you’re so hooked get a vibrator.” DID ANYONE ELSE THROW UP IN THEIR MOUTHS BESIDES ME???? THE FUCK??? Not ok Dad. NOT FUCKING OKAY.*shudders*)
-I have a thing with soulful white guys. Like ones who can play the bass guitar. Yummy.
-I fucking ❤ feather earrings.
I real post later when I have some time.
So it is officially Christmas Eve and if it weren’t for my phone saying December 24th I would have no idea. No Christmas tree.No lights.No wreaths on the door. WTF
My Christmas decor in my dorm closet… ahem, room(which consisted of a giant green holiday pen where Santa shimmied down at the push of a button)was more than the nothingness going on at my house. Smh. Home for the holidays my ass.
In other news I just got a Twitter…eek? I have no idea how to work it but my dear older sister(SimpleComplex) convinced me it’s the next new thing…errr I dunno but, OKAY! Random but I’m low key thinking about becoming a raw-foodist….ok you can STOP laughing now…i’m serious. We’ll see though.
I’ve been listening to Habib Koite a lot lately…his music is just so soothing…especially Din Din Wo. When I listen to this song I pretend I’m in South Africa layed out on the beach, sun making my body tingle with some type of fruity drink in my hand….sigh..if only.
All around me EVERYONE I know is getting engaged or they are in super serious relationships where the next step is marrige. Like I don’t get it….I know I low key live in the “bumblefuck backwoods of Kansas” as my friend Taylor so kindly put it but DAYUM DADDY…can we grow up a little more?
I haven’t smoke a clove in over 3 weeks and I’m fiending. Dammitdammitdammit. As stressed out as I am right now one would be very nice. And I have GOT to stop stressing….
Well I am off to go watch movies on demand…and if you are reading this and you are on twitter ADD ME…..http://twitter.com/realifecitygirl